We had not planned on spacing our children five years apart, but that is what happened. I was diagnosed with secondary infertility and our ideal plan for spacing our children fell apart.
I always thought two years was the perfect spacing for siblings. They would be able to grow up together, playing with each other. When the two-year mark came and went, I panicked. My son, Max, would not have the ideal family. He was missing out on something amazing and I was powerless to stop it.
It was not until five years after Max was born that Lucas came into the world. I was relieved, but also worried. Would they feel a connection or were they too far apart in age to forge a bond?
I was amazed at how quickly the boys gravitated towards each other. Max was a proud big brother and Lucas cannot keep his eyes off of him. Both my husband and myself can say, with confidence, that there are huge benefits to spacing children farther apart.
2. Older siblings can help more with the baby (whether it is because they are more self-reliant or want to help by feeding or playing with baby and running to get things for their parents (blankets, diapers, etc).
3. Older siblings, after speaking with them, have a better understanding of what is going on. They are more likely to realize that a new member of the family is coming and things will be changing in the house. This makes it less of a shock when the baby arrives.
4. You will have a few years in between major purchases (glasses, braces, cars, college, etc).
5. You will enjoy both children, with less stress (only one in diapers, only one you have to hold all of the time)
There is now a huge sense of relief after so much worrying. The boys play together. Yes, Max gets tired of it sometimes, but isn’t that the case with most siblings? There is sometimes jealousy, but not nearly as much as there could have been.
I think life works out just the way it suppose to. I couldn’t imagine anything being better than this.