Stay At Home Mom Vs. Working Mom

VS

nymag.com

 

I have been a stay at home mom for over a year.  Having worked for so long, I always considered myself to be a working mother, but now I can say I finally feel like a SAHM.  Before staying home with my children I was director of a daycare.  I was able to bring my son with me, which was wonderful.  When I became pregnant again I became a stay at home mom.  I was extremely nervous, because I just was not sure I would be able to do it (and do it well).  I thought I had to be a super mom, but all I had to be was a regular mom to my children.  They did not seem to need the super part.

Here are the pros and cons of both (in my opinion):

Working Mom

Pros:

-I felt independent and had a sense of pride in my work.

-I always had something to talk about.

– My children had a role model that worked hard and did not fit a “men work and women stay home” stereotype.

-I was always meeting new people.

Cons:

-I worked long hours at work.

-Even after working all day I still had to come home and take care of the house and children.

-It was near impossible staying up all night with a sick child and having to be ready for work and out the door by 6:30am.

-My children had to work around my schedule.

-We often had to rush at the end of the night to fit everything in (bedtime story, baths, etc.).

-My son had to travel with me for over an hour a day.

-I was often tired by 8pm.

Stay At Home Mom

Pros:

-I work around my children’s schedules.

-I have more than enough time to be with my children, clean, and do other activities.

-I get to see every milestone, sporting game, and class party.

-My son no longer has a long commute.

-I no longer worry about dressing up for work.

-I do not have to worry about outside childcare.

Cons:

-Sometimes an entire day has gone by and I have not spoken to one adult.

-Children can be very demanding and often I forget about myself.

-It can be very boring even when you have a million things to accomplish.

-I’m often very lonely.

 

If I had to decide right now whether to go back to work or stay at home, I would be torn.  My older son loves that I am home, but he also loved preschool and playing with other children.  Getting to be there when my youngest rolled over and crawled for the first time was a privilege.  I know that many men and women do not get to see that, so I do no take it lightly.  I still do not know which I would prefer!

What has your experiences been?  Have you both stayed home and worked as a parent?  Which did you prefer?



Categories: Parenting

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7 replies

  1. I wrote a post on this myself when I first started mat leave with the twins. One thing I realize now is that the more kids you have (in my case 3) it becomes even harder to be a working mom. Feel free to check it out and good luck with your decision http ://gameofdiapers.com/2013/04/29/being-a-working-mom-vs-a-stay-at-home-mom/

  2. My boyfriend is a stay at home parent but many times I have wished we could trade places. I have a college degree and he doesn’t which is a big part of the reason that I work.
    I really enjoy my job. Most days anyways.
    But I also find that I have a lot less patience with my kids and I miss out on a lot. I also am not knowledgeable about many of their daily routines which is hard. My kids want daddy to tuck them in at night because he does it for their naps and they need that consistency. I also am still stuck with most of the housework and I find it all very stressful.
    Someday, I would like to work part time from home. I think for me that would be a happy medium. I don’t see myself ever being a completely SAHM even though some days i wish with all my heart that i could.

  3. I worked until my oldest was almost four, and once the twins were born I decided to stay home. (I can’t believe I haven’t worked in almost 3 years!) I miss working sometimes, but once they all start school I’ll have plenty of years to do so. That’s the way I’ve tried to look at it, and I think staying at home has made me grow as a person and a mother!:)

  4. I decided to stay home after my son was born, and I don’t get to talk to an adult (except my husband!) very often, but I have never regretted my decision. I have so many special memories of my son growing up and I wouldn’t swap them for anything. That said, I do respect women who decide to continue working – it’s a tough job!

  5. I have done both but have settled at being a SAHM for now. With three children to juggle it was very difficult to do my job at work as well as I wanted to. But I miss it almost every day and I would like to return to it someday – perhaps when they are all at school. I find blogging helps the lonely side of things and gives me grown ups to converse with!

  6. Thank you for your responses. It is wonderful to receive feedback from other people in my position!

  7. You absolutely have to do what is right for you and your child/children at that time. I stayed home with my daughter until she was 18 months, attempting to make a go out of freelance work from home after she turned 1. It didn’t work out that well, so I ended up taking a part-time job working 2 days a week. My daughter is almost 3 now and I am loving it. I feel like I have the best of both worlds – spending tons of time with my daughter, but also staying active in my profession (I’m a Speech Language Pathologist). Working part-time has also really helped me to remember that “mom” is not the only title I have, and it was pretty much all-encompassing when I stayed at home full-time.

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