Stories From My Bathroom

Why can I not go to the bathroom in peace?  What is it about motherhood that has completely stripped me of bathroom privacy?  And, believe me, there is nothing like lack of bathroom privacy to totally drain the sexy out of you.

It never fails.  The minute I go into the bathroom my son is banging on the door.

“MOM!  What are you doing?”

Really?  Just the question you want to be asked while sitting in the bathroom.

“I’m having a cupcake party, Max.  I’ll be out when I finish all of the cupcakes.”

Gasp of outrage.

“You didn’t invite me?”  I hear my son stomp his foot.

I slowly put my head in my hands.

Stories From My Bathroom

My family must love this view because they are always trying to knock down the door to see it!

The other day Max’s friend came over to play.  I set them up with arts and crafts.  Put out some snacks.  It was the perfect time to take a few minutes to use the bathroom.

Giggles and scratching at the door, followed by, “Bathrooms smell. Ha ha!”

“Max, what are you doing?”

Peals of laughter.

“We are trying to look under the door at you!”


My husband came home today while I was in the bathroom.  All of a sudden the door began to shake as my husband pounded on it.

“I’ve been in the car for an hour.  Gotta go!!!”

You’ve got to be kidding me!  I have to rush out of the bathroom for EVERYONE??

Now the baby is hopping on board.  He will not just cry when I go to the bathroom.  He will scream like he is being tortured while I’m doing my business.  I refuse to take him in with me.  He can cry for the 2 minutes it takes me to finish!

I just realized as I finished writing this that everyone is sleeping in the house!  I’m taking this opportunity to use the bathroom in peace!

Categories: Parenting

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5 replies

  1. Yes – I feel your pain. It never ends. we happen to be living with my in-laws, and Twice my brother-in-law has walked in on me using the bathroom. I mean really?!? Once I could understand … but Twice. Now I’ve taken to locking the door when I’m in there – and it’s become a habit – Walk in, turn the light/fan on, shut & lock the door. Then my oldest decides that it would be fun to play cars with mommy under the bathroom door. So I’ll get random hotwheels zooming towards my feet, or it will be markers or blocks. Anything that will fit through the crack. And then if I’m not fast enough, or the object hasn’t traveled far enough, he’ll wine and complain that mommy hasn’t returned his item. …. 2 minutes is too long sometimes – specially when everybody wants your attention.


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